I remember those late night chatting sessions… he was not in Singapore but somehow, he was ‘there’ while I studied for my finals… he was ‘there’ to accompany me through all those crazy nights…
He once mentioned “weird how I feel like I’ve known u for ages but truth is, we’ve never even met…”.. and what made it even weirder was that I felt the same way…
When he finally got back here, late night chats on MSN Messenger with the webcam became late night chats on the phone… I became addicted to him..
Then came the moment I’ve been waiting for.. ever since the first time I spoke to him… the moment when I will be able to meet him.. in flesh..it was my birthday and there he was...he was amazingly charming and I can’t even describe how I felt at that exact moment.. I gave him the biggest smile I could possibly give and he realized it.. (coz he constantly teased me about it after)...that birthday party was the craziest and most amazing party for me ever!! I had everyone I loved there and what made it better was that he was there. Although I was just too occupied with everything else, he was still there.. and he was there till the next day.. it was something I didn’t expect but it was the bestest thing ever. I tried to stay up to look at him sleep but instead, he stayed up to look at me..he’s the cutest monkey ever
The next few weeks was just crazy.. “crazy” is the word… I was still bumming around.. he was on holidays too.. so we had crazy phone convos which could last till 6am or so… it happened every night without fail.. not to mention, my crazy night escapades to see him.. just to be with him..everything was unplanned but yet everything went smoothly...
He made me listen to acoustic.. he got me to appreciate a wide genre of music.. he got me addicted to songs.. I usually associate a person with a song.. but I associate him with many songs.. every song he sent me reminds me of him…he made me fall in love with one particular song.
He met my friends.. he got along with all of them.. everyone adores him..:)
He met my family..everyone adores him..
He made me feel special..he waits up for me if I ever went out late to ensure I’m home safe..
He makes me watch World Cup.. he makes me oogle over Spanish players.. he makes me check scores on livescore.com…
He sents me cute text messages and he calls me when he’s high..
He sings to me unconsciously...
He keeps me company on sleepless nights despite being tired himself..
He keeps me sober when I’m high...
He makes me smile every time I feel down..
He gets high on cough syrup.. and he starts hallucinating..
He makes me believe that “love” has no barriers...
He makes me believe that age wouldn’t be an issue..
Most importantly, he made me fall in love with him...
But we know that wasn’t meant to happen...
I fall further each day... It’s scary...
I wanna pull away coz I know it’ll never happen..
Things are no longer the same... i feel him pulling away from me too... i sense it..
I wanna be able to control how I feel coz I don’t wanna feel this way..
I tried… I tried so hard...I can’t seem to get him out of my mind...
I cry... Coz I miss him so much...
We’re in different phases of our lives.. too many issues revolving this...everything seems too complicated…late night calls are a big no no coz of our early mornings.. weekends are always spent with family. We don’t meet and I miss him so much..
I don’t wanna push it coz I know it’s not easy for him either.. he knows I wanna meet him but I’m not gonna ask him anymore..
I don’t know what I should do... Coz I love him... And he doesn’t know that… maybe he does, but I know he doesn’t feel the same way...
Love is so complicated....but I know for sure, I’ve not felt like this in a very long time....<3
i'm glad i prepared myself for the worst.... but whatever it is, it was nice while it lasted and there are no regrets on my part ... <3
ps: i was looking for Marcos Hernandez's "The Way I Do" video on youtube.com which would be the perfect song for this post..i couldn't find the genuine mtv for it but i stumbled upon one very unique one... which is rather ironic.. coz during those Power Ranger days, i love Kimberly the Pink Ranger and Tommy the Green Ranger... :) Listen to the lyrics... oh balls!
ON A BRIGHTER NOTE.... today was the last day of our course at Hotel Royal... snap back to reality as of Monday hahaa.. today i was so lethargic... everything seemed sooooo boring... but because we had tests to take, i had to at least keep myself awake for a bit...
i got home to 2 letters.... one was my new ATM card from Standard Chartered.. wheee... hahaa.. no money in account yet though hahaha.. blah.. and another one from sch regarding convocation... need to mail size of gown and mortarhats!!! so exciting!! i managed to engage mum's friend who is a professional photographer to come over with his equipments and take studio photos of me and my girlies!!!! outdoor shots too!!! yay!!!! so exciting!!!! like omg!!! haha
tmr morning is wakeboarding!!! rain rain.. please stay away... have mercy on me...
i'm feeling really lousy right at this moment... i'm gonna go sulk... blah!
Randy, u r one mad chinaman!!!! thanks for making me laugh u smelly poo! :)
